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“He left with a smile.”Yet another says a man came up to her and said her aura was magnetic, but “It wasn’t a pick-up line. They were charmed, flattered, and remembered the incidents long after they happened, for a few reasons.The conversation seemed friendly, the compliments sincere.This Buzzfeed piece about Bollywood songs corrected for sexism makes the point perfectly.I asked the women I knew if they’d had any good experiences with being approached and complimented by strangers. A random Facebook private message to one was a beautifully written note, including a tribute to Philip Seymour Hoffman’s “human loneliness, the terrible uncinematic kind that has very little to do with high-noon heroism and everything to do with everyday empathy—and the necessary curse of human self-knowledge.” The stranger simply told the woman he thought she was beautiful, ending his self-admitted “high-noon heroism” with a gracious “Consider this a fleeting moment in a crowded street, where a stranger smiles at you heartily and you forget about it…I'll share you my experience living on my own in an L. neighborhood that is mostly young professional, and well, mostly white.I'm only about 5'6 but pretty built, and I'm not someone to shy away from talking to a good looking girl.The idea is to come across as genuine, non-threatening, pleasant, and casual.
However, being the way the neighborhood is, you meet people left and right, and I would always "lose out" to the 6'0 white guy.Someone looks at you with awe and respect and you are too busy to even notice…They pass and you forget about it.”Another woman said a man asked her if she was from Iran, complimenting her on her kohl-rimmed eyes.Women I know have been driven into, had sticks thrown into the spokes of their motorcycles, and have even had men spit in their paths.So if a girl is at a bar or in a public place and you want to tell her she’s beautiful or you’d like to talk to her, start with the assumption that she is already primed to go into self-defence mode. In a chapter on building confidence in a woman, Vatsyayana advises that women want tender beginnings, warning that, “when they are forcibly approached by men with whom they are but slightly acquainted, they sometimes suddenly become haters of sexual connection, and sometimes even haters of the male sex.”What did I tell you?
I would walk in with my buddies, (all 5'11 and up white guys) and she would view me as more as one of their little sidekicks rather than a legit partner/companion.